Speak good or remain silent

Its probably one of the things or sins we consider as minor or inconsequential and its likely it might be the one that may cause a lot of regrets for us. A lot of us take these things as trivial but if every deed will be counted for or against us then i think we need to reconsider our stance on this issue. Sometimes its called or hidden in what the womenfolk refer to as gossip and sometimes its latent too in the gists and discussions of the men
folk. Anything that makes you speak ill of anyone behind their back is usually referred to as backbiting in my faith and it’s really frowned at. Great words are a result of great thoughts and also bad words are results of ill thoughts. We may have our differences and bad feelings may rise but wisdom is displayed if such rifts are taken through the proper channels so as to save we, the offended, from being wronged and still wronging ourselves(double wahala you'll say) all together. I have recently determined that till the end of my days in this life i shall try as much as possible to be better than yesterday in my quest to attain purity of mind which is likely to put me on the same plane as others favored by God. I will therefore try not to think bad, negative or evil of anyone so i shall speak no bad, negative or evil about anyone because as one of the holy books stated...."out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh".
Let us constantly remind ourselves of the little things that matter and that may make the difference. Things that will give us both mental and spiritual balance leading to peace of mind which the foundation of happiness is. After all, apart from backbiting or speaking ill generally affecting our spiritual growth, science has also proven a connection between bad thoughts and the release of toxic hormones into our blood stream which might affect our psychological wellbeing and balance. Let us therefore endeavour to think evil of no one so
that we speak evil of no one. Imbibe forgiveness as a principle or virtue and these things may not be hard. May i also expressly state that saying bad things about people, especially behind their back is a sin hence The Holy Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) was reported to have said,"He who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him be hospitable to his guest; and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day, let him maintain good the ties of blood relationship;and he who believes in Allah and the Last Day,.......MUST SPEAK GOOD OR REMAIN SILENT".

You never know with Him

I once prayed for a lovely white garment i saw in the window glass. I loved it so much but couldn’t afford it. Apparently a lot of people couldn’t afford it because it was there a long time, just hanging, magnificently and just my exact size. There was nothing i could do except hope and pray i get this dress. I worked hard and prayed, prayed and prayed, all night and day, fasted so many days and at a time i just thought maybe he doesn’t answer prayers anymore. Nothing could be compared to the obsession and love i had for this garment. The most painful fact was that the shop selling this garment was along my way home, in my full glare everyday, yet i was only allowed to look and stare but not even touch not to talk of wear. I came back to town after spending lots of weeks out of home and just as usual passed by the garment shop and to my greatest surprise the white garment was still there but now almost changing to brown. Even the Ram in our farm knows how much i hate a brown garment. I went to the shop owner to ask what happened, he told me the garment was made from a very delicate and sensitive material which accounts for its expensive price and that it goes dark with time either in use or not and either its dry cleaned or not and at the end of the day if you never saw it white you'll believe it was made brown and if you never saw it brown, you will believe it was made black which is its final destination. I thanked the owner and went home. I spent hours of days thanking God for his grace and understanding for i then realized he actually heard all my prayers but just chose to answer it in a way i couldn’t understand because i may not smile or say thank you to no one for giving me a brown garment. Also i think its imperative for me to explicitly show my gratitude to Him for refusing to answer my prayers and for not granting my request because i can’t seem to understand why I’ll be able to afford a more expensive dress which i just got recently and was unable to buy that seemingly white garment for months. Let no wise man cease to pray for he who ceases to pray ceases to prosper. The time, we may not know and the Knowledge, we may not have but one thing i am so certain about is His promise to Answer our prayers for as long as we trust in him alone and increase our charitable acts (good to our fellow man).i once promised and pledged to do these two and i still haven’t changed my mind, all I’m asking for is your grace to do so till the day my heart stops. Even while it seems your prayers are yet to be answered and things are yet to be the way you want them, Never fail to always thank God, the most beneficent, the most merciful and the most wise because you just never know how he answers your prayers and how he does his things....you just never know with Him

Evolution

I'm leaving, not on a Concord airplane but on the wings of time and i dont know if i'll be back again.i really dont want to come back and if it happens i dont,i want you to be happy for me..I've been trying for a long time and now  i think i'm gradually evolving over conscious hate,conscious fear and injustice to fellow humans.. Everyday i wake, i hope and pray that i be a better person than i was yesterday,that my deeds and ways may be in harmony with the universal plan of mother nature.In the midst of trying to grow, thoughts of hate, fear(known and unknown) and injustice try to pull me down everyday thus my mind is always in a constant fight between good and bad,right and wrong,wants and needs.Daughters of eve and money did not make things easier also.After much contemplation and meditation i decided it was time to take the middle way(Lobsang Rampa),time to take things as they come,never giving more value to anything
or anyone than they deserve.Then, Moments of peace,serenity and tranquility started to seep in.Some say it is a nonchalant way of living,some call it an unemotional way....i call it living life in a free style where the sole purpose is to sleep,eat,wake,appreciate mother nature for her mercies and to be good to your fellow man..
Though am still at the early stage of this great evolution which is self study and discovery i know i have a lot of challenges ahead among which(if not the greatest)is temptation but its always easier to take on difficulties when you know what they are and you are anticipating them.The path may be rough and i might make mistakes my friend but i'll overcome them ..Laws of nature would always hold whether we like it or not. An ardent student i intend to be and great lessons i intend to learn...No more do i want to hate any man though i could get angry once in a while, no more do i want to fear anything or anyone except the most merciful, no more do i want to judge no one for its an exclusive right of the greatest judge, no more do i want to speak ill of any man with bad intent, no more do i want vengeance living in my heart,no more do i want to entertain any dark tots or hold any ill feelings in my mind except against the evil ones.....these are essentially my new life resolutions and i pray to God to please hold me down in his mercy, blessings and guidance so that the great serpent of the old does not get the best of me during this course of evolution. amin.

mummy's just a little girl

As i was preparing to leave the house for the day's hustle i went to wake my kid sister so she could get me something to eat before leaving home.i had hardly left her door when my old woman answered from her own room telling me to go and get married and that i cant turn her daughter to my cook.some moments later she and my sister were seriously on my case laughing at me and teasing me i should tell them whats wrong and why i've not brought a single girl home,black,white or albino.i just smiled and left them; thinking in my mind, little do this people know, if they did, they would have being treating me like a king,with passion and respect but they dont.i looked back and remembered how many relationships i have had in the past and how they all ended.i thought about how many of them ended in less than 3wks that it began..like 80%.some left on religious ground and i think i initiated the break with 1.The next question is why were they like that?like i said earlier i lost some to religious blah blah and had to free myself from one.The rest of this poor boy's relationships were lost to  "big pimping" brothers.my tough luck 'cos my father wont just make it on time.wetin i for do now?Surprisingly and sincerely i do not have an atom of beef or grudge against any of them 'cause if it had been my sister too i woulda told her "now is the future girl go with the guy that has it" rather than one boy preaching about hope in the future.But on the contrary i saw the whole thing from a different perspective, i looked at it like i'm a guy with a high level of taste for me to be loosing my relationship to more fly brothers.what would i have done if i had lost to a fellow "legedez benzer" like me? maybe i would have given up on the thought of relationships and would have considered a residence in a far away monastery in china. i dont think i even told them about the best relationship i never had man!!! little do they actually know.If only mummy and my sick sista "amanda" know whats going on in my mind and my world they would be treating me with more respect 'cos if this brother aint got anything else, he's got taste.so would someone please tell them that the time is nigh and when its right i shall not disapoint them.They should therefore endaevour to treat my meal requests with regards and utmost respect....tell them o

friendship across sex

Some years ago i introduced a girl to my mother as my friend.She welcomed her and all protocols were duly observed.later that evening, after the lady had left,it was now deliberation time between mama and her husband.jamal's mother was like she wonders what the world was turning to; that how would a boy get tired of male friends and now decide to start having females as friends.she was like what kind of friendship is there between a dog and a tiger if not to kill each other.i just laughed it off and told her she was old school.i told her things like that now happen and there's nothing to it.She replied in a sarcastic manner suggesting am still yet to understand.Reminiscing on that discussion recently i made a statistics of how most of those relationships ended and am still yet to come to a conclusion.i would have used myself as an example but my experiences are few and little to make any scientific or rational conclusion/judgement.
Nevertheless,(based on personal judgement please) i believe the friendship is okay till either of two things happen.1)till one party betrays/offends the other with no good explanation.2)till the emotions of any of the parties run loose and its shown or displayed.other situations may arise but i believe with simple understanding these situations may come under control without them affecting the friendship.From later discussions with jamal's mother and some other mums it was discovered that their greatest reservation about the situation was about 2) above.The first reason would likely destroy any relationship.The second is not likely to destroy most relationship or a same sex friendship.friendship across sex takes more control of emotions than a same sex friendship and i believe thats where the complication comes in.All through the span or lifetime of the relationship more work is needed to hold things together in terms of control than in the same sex pals.Though recently am begining to see things from a different perspective and it has made me to backtrack and try to check for any truth that might exist in the words of these old women.Like i said earlier am still yet to come to a conclusion or a stand or form any theory/principle for or against this position...





The Age Factor: Love, Sex, and Friendship Across the Generations

Minding my business

I recently saw an hadith of the prophet(pbuh) in which he was reported to have said that part of being a good muslim is minding ones own business. Someone close was recently stabbed when trying to rescue a little girl from the hands of two bullies and all he got from everyone was "whats your business with the girl".I as a person was about to say same thing when i recalled this hadith and i wondered at what point is a business yours or not yours, Considering the fact that we've always been encouraged to help our fellow man in need either we know him or not.Going by an implication of these judgements he could have walked away from her and claim she's not his business and at the same time he could have tried to help like he did and get killed.How should a situation then be appraised so as to know if its your business or not.A school of thought holds the believe that any situation you were not explicitly implored to participate should be shunned and stayed away from.Some even said that it depends on your motive or intent of participation in such matters or business.i wonder if anyone has a different opinion.

heaven's ghetto

My words,thoughts and proclaimations might not be as strict as that of a religious scholar though our aims n objectives might not be far from each other.My stance and approach arose from my thought on the fairness of God in everything.Personally i think its going to be a lot unfair, though acceptable and with no complaints at all ,if at the end of the day i find myself and some of us, in the same level of paradise with the likes of prophet Moses,Abraham,Jesus and Muhamad(pbuh) and the early men that accepted faith along with them.God's justification for that if it happens, i may never know till i meet him......i wish to live a good life(according to my own definition) and i still pray and hope to make heaven.Though, I am trying my best and even if i get to put the best of effort i am imagining to support this quest, i still dont think i should be on the same plane of paradise with these set of people,if i make it at last...None of all this great prophets ever made prosperity in terms of wordly wealth their major concern like i and a lot of us do. Our aims and ways of achieving(as compared to them) them are slightly different.They chose the reward of meeting with their lord over the life of the present while i have chosen to live "the good life" here on earth and still try and make the same heaven they struggled for.Going by the kinds of lives we've both lived, would anybody think it fair that we should be given the same scores?I dont know what the opinions of great religious scholars would be but all i know is God knows best and he's the greatest,and most just of all judges. i dont want to die if am given the choice and if i die,definitely, i dont wanna burn.Lets say i cant live next door to Adam's mansion or play with the household members of Abraham if i make it,Dear lord if u can hear me am pleading, i really wont mind staying in heaven's ghetto if it has one.

in my search of knowledge

Some limit their search for knowledge at only that which is the good part and for some reasons best known to them choose to block their eyes from the knowledge of the opposite.As for me i shall look for the knowledge of good and its opposite pari passu at least concerning that subject which i have chosen to under study.I have made a solemn promise to my lord not to do anything evil or go close to it but that
did not include knowing about evil and its ways.My position might sound too extreme but if you have been where i have, you will have very little choice but to appreciate my statement and voluntarily join me without any coercion.I once lost a fight to a fellow fighter and it was painful because i did not lose to his being superior,faster or more powerful but it was because he played some tricks which were not supposed to be allowed but unfortunately were overlooked and accepted.After the tournament i went back to the training ground and my instructor told me it will be hard for me to be a champion if i do not have knowledge of those kind of tricks.he requested that i learn them,know them, practice them and afterwards i should perfect ways of stopping and neutralizing them.Even if i choose not to use them no one will ever use them to my disadvantage.hence i concluded this should also apply to all facets of my life, that for every knowledge i choose to have i must have a balanced scale of it that is its merit and demerit,its strength and weakness,its bad side and its good side.i believe that is only when i can claim to have full grasp of that knowledge.After all Studying a goat does not make me a goat.